Messed up

I've come to think that I in a way attract complicated situations latley. It's not easy I tell ya... But on the other hand, if it was easy, then I'd probably be dead. Sometimes I don't know what I want, and sometimes I just live in the moment and do what makes sense then.

Me and Attila talked about dreams before, and we came to the conclusion that dreams are just messing things up. To live in the moment and not think too far ahead is usually better. And maybe I should do that. But then again... I'm kinda of a person that likes to plan ahead. But I don't want to build up fancy castles and green fields just for it all do come crashing down again. I need to be more careful.

Had a good chat tonight, got to bed around 8am this morning. I've missed those talks. In a way I feel like maybe things are going back to "nomal", even though I'm not sure there ever was a "normal". Now I'm just rambling on and I should probably stop. My thoughts are just too messed up to be written down.