Just to make it clear

I know I sometimes ramble on about sudden feelings, and maybe sometimes what I try to say comes out wrong... But there's one thing I want to make clear considering my last post, I love Vitor very very much, he's my everything and I wouldn't want to lose him for anything.

I love the way you make me feel so close, even though you're so far away. The fact that I can fall asleep with you on skype every night and wake up with you every morning, that means so much to me. The distance is hard yes, and that's why I want to do something about it as quickley as possible, cuz I know what distance can do to a relationship if the distance lasts too long.

All I have in my mind these days is you and those 10 days we shared. I cherish the memories and pictures very much and I'll keep them forever. As I will keep you, in my heart <3

What am I missing?

Should be sleeping... need to get up soon to go to the catshelter... Feeling a bit... I dunno... sad? Unsecure? Well something feels wrong and i just don't know what it is... That dream last night sure didn't make it better... Past few days words feel just like words and I don't know what... I feel like something's missing and I'm not sure what to do about it. I don't even know what it is but I hate the fact that my dreams these past few days go in different directions. What am I supposed to do with my life? I feel like there's a message in my dreams and they finally came back to guide me and now they start to confuse me again... I don't know what it is I've been sad about these past days either... I'm not sad as in crying but there's just something.... this little emotion that make me feel so lonley. I guess the lonley part is cuz there's parts of my dreams that I don't want to share with my friends cuz I feel like it's important that I keep it to myself... Ah well... guess I got a date with my pillow now. Cyas!

The days of happiness

Last night I came back home again, I had a great time in portugal with my love. Can't believe these days are already over and now we need to wait until summer to meet again... But instad of talking about how much I miss everything I'm gonna tell some things we did and such. If I can remember... or more likley sort out when we did what hehe.

Okay so after that chaotic morning of going to portugal I finally stood there waiting for my bag and feeling a bit nervous hehe. And I found myself being very cute as I went out through the restriction to where people are waiting. I was kinda sneaking around the corner and stayed very close to the wall hehehehe. And then I saw someone who I couldn't really see that good cuz I had the sun in my eyes and it surrounded him as well. But still I knew it was him. It was such a cute meeting, we were both a bit nervous and such but that straightend out pretty quick. After all, we already knew eachother pretty well.

I'm never gonna forget the first time I sat in your lap, the feeling of rightness and... that feeling when you take a deep breath and just stare into someones eyes, then look down, look back up and smile... That feeling... it's how I feel everytime I look at you my love. And to sleep next to you... did you feel like it wasn't the first time? I just feel like it was the most normal thing to do, like we had done it a thousand times... maybe it's cuz I sleep next to you every night in my dreams... There are so many days, moments, thoughts, smiles and stares to remember baby, and my hand is missing yours so much right now..

And well, I guess some people want to read about what we did and not the emotions hehe. So here goes, on the first monday we went to meet Flames, he didn't know I was coming, even though we hinted some stuff. I guess the hints allowed him not to be compleatley shocked hehe. I think he wasn't sure if it was me first since we usually just talk in teamspeak so I said "hi flames!" and then he said "I fuckin knew it!" hahahahahaha. Then we went to some mall to wait for Yoshi but he was at some place doing fysiotheraphy or however to spell it, so he didn't show up. Was a nice time anyway though.

Humm... what else... well one day we went to a park and sat down there for a while. Got plenty of pictures from there which I like a lot. Another day we went to play minigolf, I lost... meh.... hehe. It really is a bit hard to remember when we did what hahaha. But I do know that last saturday we met up with flames and yoshi and then the guys showed me Porto. It's a very nice town and I liked it a lot. Got a lot of pics from there too. Actually, this is hard to write, I'm gonna write about stuff as I remember them ok? So I'll end this post for now hehe. Can't post any pics yet cuz I'm to lazy to connect my external harddrive atm. But there will be pics, I promise.

Worst morning ever

Today, as you all know I'm going to Portugal. I get woken up an hour earlier than I planed to get up. My dad says the trains are not working(AGAIN). Great my whole plan has failed, I then realise that I can take the bus, try to book it but nah, ofc my card doesn't work for this either... shit! By the time of that I already feel like throwing up cuz I don't know what to do. We start to check the cabs but then again, how's that going to work? I can't pay that either since I don't trust that my card will work, and I doubt that my dad can pay the trip in advance. He runs over to the neighbour to get the number of a cabdriver he knows but no, he didn't have time to drive. I have by this time decided I'm gonna take the bus to get to an ATM and withdraw the money so I can pay the taxi myself, but I feel so certain the ATM will be f*cking closed or something.... But before I go my dad decides to call the cabcompany and ask if he can pay in advance. This doesn't seem to work but my dad gets told that the trains DO work now, it was earlier in the morning they didn't. So now I'm going for the train after all... I pray to God that it'll work!

And doing all of this running up and downstairs we also woke up Yin, and now she's decided that she'll go with me some of the way, which is very good cuz she knows where the machinethingy to buy the traintickets are. Yay! And if my card wont work then she could probably buy the ticket for me and then I'll just transfer money to her later. Oh God what a morning... blehhhh.....

Okay time to get going now. Wish me luck!

Tomorrow baby, tomorrow!

Today it's april 8th... What does that mean? Well for me it means 2 things, first, it's my dad's birthday so we're gonna go out and eat at a resturant, and secondly it's the day before I get to meat my love for the 1st time! It's such a weird feeling... like... tomorrow I'm gonna be able to hug him, kiss him and sleep next to him. And then thinking of the fact that on sunday I'll be able to wake up next to him... It's a bit unreal in a way. Love you so much!! And honey, I saw you posted that song I showed you on facebook, so then I'll post the one you showed me here hehe.

Presents!

Yeah, I didni't write for a few days sorry hehe. But, since then, I've been up to some stuff, just been to lazy to write about it hehe. Las monday me and Panda went to play badminton, was really nice hehe. We even recorded us playing but I still didn't edit the movie. Can't really upload 32min of film can i? hehehe.

Got some pictures to upload too, I still didn't upload pictures of the wonderful polarbearlamp that Pand gave me, so I'll do that now:

Cute right?

Then I also upload some pictures of somethings me and Panda saw as we were walking home from badminton hehe. Pink car... something for me maybe? XD

And then TODAY, I got A LOT of presents that had been a bit delayed hehe. Thank you Reaper they are all very nice, I especially like the fox hehe. Oh and kinda like the spellingmistake on the card hahaha:

Happy Birthday MEEEE!!!

Well today it's my birthday, was born on this day at 18.27 hehe. Didn't really do much... I prefer to spend it here by the pc, cuz that's as close as I can be to my honey right now hehe. My dad, me and Yin talked about going to a resturant but it's such a shitweather that we decided not to. We'll go there on friday instead on my dad's birthday and "celibrate" both of us.

So I got some more presents hehe. Got this little cute doggie to hug at night, thank you honey! IT'S SO FLUFFY!!!!!!

Then Yin (Little Panda) gave me this lovley birthdaycard! It's so cute!!!

And then I'll just post some pics of candy that my mom gave me yesterday, but I already ate this though hehe. And yes, the candy came in one of them eastereggs hehe...

What a day...

Oh my God... What a day! haha! Went to bed at 7am this morning after spending the whole night with Vitor, flames and mega. Hehe, Vitor and I even ended the night by talking strategy on skype hehe. Either way I had to get up at 10.30 today since I was gonna go see my mom at a mall. I didn't get up until an hour later than I was supposed too, but okay, I still made it in time cuz I figured I could use my bike. BIG FAIL! Hahaha, nah, I guess not but christ, my ass hurts from the sadle!!! Hahahahahaha xD And well, I didn't use my bike since before the snow came so I was totally out of shape for that... sigh! I actually had to get of and just walk with the bike sometimes hehehe. Anyway, I eventually got to the mall and me and my mom ran some erands and such. Like, I finally went to the watchmaker and had her remove 2 links from the braclet thing on my watch, cuz it was a bit too big for my arm. Then we went to Forex to change some money into Euro. I got 171E now hehe. Acutally I'm gonna go check right now if I don't have some coins layin around somewhere here....I did! Not much though hehe, 2E and 70Cents hehehe.

After Forex we went to check for some new pants for me... See I got the problem that everything that's in my size has to freckin long legs!! It's so annoying... I always end up folding my jeans up and such.. I really hate that. Next time I feel "rich" I'm gonna go to one of those stores that have jeans as their specialty! After a long serch I ended up getting a black pair of leggings which wasn't really the plan but okay hehe.

Then my mom and I went to a caffé, she had a sandwich and I tried this carrotcake thing... Was lovley but too much for me to finish it hehe.

We also saw some other fun stuff, like these cuties... Was on the window of a pharmacy, I have no idea why hehe.

And then we saw this... bad quality on the pic I know, but look, the thing on his "chestpocket" is ORANGE!!! Hahaha, and he has red socks!!! Hehehe... jesus... fashion these days eh? XD

We had a nice time mom and me hehe. At last I had to do some grocery shopping so she came with me to do that too, and omg what a line... was like a joke! But I guess it's cuz everything is very cheap in that store hehe. After that it was time for me to ride my bike home again... sigh! XD

Aaaaaaand, as I get home, Yin meets me at the door asking if there's any mail in the mailbox hehe. I check it and yes there is, but nothing for her moahaha. Then she tells me that our friend Reaper sent some package that was gonna be delivered at the door. And that it was supposely delivered yesterday. And if no one answers the door they leave this note in the mailbox. It's kinda weird though that they left a note cuz I was home... So I guess the delivery guy must have knocked the door like as he was tapping a very fragile glass or something hehe. And then as Yin and I talked about it I realised that I saw the note the day before! But I thought it came with the flowers Vitor sent me, cuz it didn't really say anything else than the deliverydate, my address and some package id number, so me and my dad was like okay, guess this is for the flowers and threw it away! Hahaha! This ended up leaving me and Yin dumpsterdiving hehe. We went thorough so much garbage trying to find that f*cking little note... First we gave up, but then we decided to give it another try, fully equipped with these cusion things to rest our knees on as we were searching through these disgusting things... yuck... And whaddaya know, I eventually found it!! I put it on the ground and we started to read the package id, but there was some foodstuff on it so I was gonna remove it very carefully, but unfortunatley I wasn't careful enough and accidentaly wiped of a few numbers. DAMN!!! But then we realised that the note didn't really tell us much anyway, cuz it didn't tell us to call them or something (we will but anyway). But seriously... people passing by on the street and such must have though we were nuts! Hehehe....

So after all this, now it's time for a nice long bath!! Gotta get this filth washed of me! But before I do that I have to go talk to Yin about a very amusing phonecall I just got from my mom hehe.

Fluffy flowers

Well, Sunday is my birthday and today I got some flowers sent to me by the sweetest boyfriend in the world! They are beautiful, I never had flowers sent to me by anyone else than relatives and such, so this was very nice honey. I love you so much! Aaaaaand as I've told you a couple of times, I love to listen to you sing so when I'm at your house you're gonna have a soar throath cuz I'll make you sing all the time hehe.

Pictures of the flowers:

Edit:

Hence he didn't see the flowers for real I showed him the pictures here... and this is what he said about them:

17:21 - s.k.0.m.: they're very beautiful honey :) like you <3
17:22 - Fluffy Fox: awwwwwww
17:22 - Fluffy Fox: <3333333